So Mama left me alone to go to someplace last week where they like to eat sheep guts and oatmeal, and I was kinda mad because I wouldn’t mind eating some sheep livers. Just not chicken livers because they make me go puuuuuhhhh….But anyway. She left me at grandpa’s house so I decided that I’d make another blog about this movie I saw with Mama before she left. She translated and edited it plus filled in some of the facts that I couldn’t really remember because I’m just Connor.
The Movie: Dog Soldiers; 2002
Directed by Neil Marshall
(Connor spoils this movie pretty hard…be warned)
So at the start of this movie there was a guy who was running away from a lot of other guys, and it turned out they were just playing some kind of game, but a game where you wear special clothes and have to fight each other. He was trying to get into some sort of special army, and the mean man in charge told him that if he wanted to get in the special army he’d have to shoot another bubbas. And I really didn’t like that and put my face on the blanket and looked at Mama like, WHYYYY MAMA??? Anyway, the main guy was nice and didn’t want to do it and wouldn’t do it no matter what the mean man said. SO then the mean man took his gun and…well. Let’s just say I don’t like him.
Anyway, so later the main nice guy (played by Kevin McKidd) is in another army…just not as special of one, and he’s in charge of them. So he and the other guys are doing some stuff in the forest. Mama says the forest is in the same place where she and Dada were going to drink giggle water and eat a bunch of meat (the Scottish highlands), but then I got kind of worried that they weren’t taking me with them because of what happened next in the movie. The main nice guy and his friends found the mean man (played by Liam Cunningham) hurt in the forest and it looked like something had ripped up all his friends or something. And it turns out that they were GIANT bubbas that didn’t even really look like bubbas at all and could walk on their hind legs NOT just when Mama tricks them into jumping up after a treat and then grabs their front paws. Cuz she does that to me a lot.
Some nice lady…well nice AT FIRST…picks them all up in her car and drives them back to this big house where her friends are supposed to be. But there aren’t any people there, but they find Sam in a closet. I like Sam…I don’t think I would have been as good as he was though with all the werewolves, I would have barked way more. But they never could have caught me either because I can run really really fast because I’m part greyhound and they’re part peoples. So they spend a lot of time in this house trying to keep the werewolves out and then they find out that the lady is a big liar and brought them there to trap them so the werewolves could eat them all. I was just really worried about was Sam because I didn’t think I could watch another bubbas get hurt. It was ok though because the werewolves didn’t want to hurt him because it turned out he was their dog because it was their house. Whoooooaaaaa….
Anyway, Sam was ok, that’s all I cared about. And the main nice guy was ok too. The rest of them weren’t though, which is kinda sad I guess, but mostly I was just worried about why Mama and Dada were going to a place like that. But Mama said the werewolves weren’t real and it was ok. And now they’re both back and I’m happy, even though grandpa gives me way more treats.
And now over to Mama because she’s going to talk about a beer that I couldn’t try because I wasn’t there. And I’m a dog.
The Beer: Kiwheat from Cromarty Brewing Co.
Aaaaaah note how fresh and unspoiled that label is. The dude at the bottle shop in Inverness said he had just gotten the bottles the previous day. So baller.
Cromarty Brewing Co. in the Scottish highlands is apparently a damn good little brewery, according to the people we talked to. This was the only brew of there’s that I had time to sample in between my many wee drams of Scotch, but it was tart and even a little bit hairy (and I mean that in the best way possible). The location of the brewery and the flavor profile make it a perfect pairing for Dog Soldiers. I’m not sure how wide distribution is in the UK, but we saw it both in Inverness (in the Highlands) and when we stopped by The Beerhive in Edinburgh (love that place–if you’re there you should definitely check it out).